Being a stepmom to my partner’s kids is the worst job ever.
Dear Deirdre: Being stepmother to my partner’s children is the worst job I’ve ever had.
It’s fine for me to take them to the hairdresser or get them to fix their shoes, but with simple requests like “brush your teeth” or “clean your room”, then I have to remember that I’m not their parent. I am
My partner and I have been together for three years but I only met his children a year ago – a boy aged 11 and a girl aged nine.
I am 39 years old, my partner is 42 years old and I have no children of my own.
When my partner is with us there is no problem, but when I am alone, they refuse to do anything I ask them to do.
Every issue gets a personal response, usually within 24 hours on weekdays.
My partner insists he will only listen to his parents and I need to get on with it.
I just can’t see a way through it.
Deidre says: Your partner may be worried about upsetting his mother.
Maybe he feels guilty about the breakup of their relationship.
Now is the time to sit him down and ask him how he sees your character.
Of course you will be much more effective in presenting a united front.
Can you agree that He leads on the big issues, but that He supports you on the day-to-day requests?
He can explain that while no one will replace their mother, as you are their caring adult, they need to listen to you.
I am sending you my support pack on Stepfamily Challenges which I hope can help you both.